A full and frank apology: I apologise for having a three-year-old laptop whose GarageBand application inexplicably crashed during the recording of yesterday’s live podcast, thus plunging it into audio limbo. I must be held responsible for having the laptop – and who else can be held responsible except for Steve Jobs? – and for optimistically thinking it would work, to the extent that I actually said, “It will work.” I also apologise for whatever evil force field keeps interfering with the efficiency of electrical appliances that come into my orbit in this city. This may still be my fault, but it is beyond my limited corporeal control. Perhaps I am going through the change.
I also apologise if I gave the impression that I managed to get to last night’s washing up first, as I had done the previous morning, when I successfully took the rubbish out while other flatmates slept. I did not get to the washing up first. In my defence, it was 2am when I came in after Political Animal, and I deliberately tiptoed to my room in order not to disturb my flatmates. (I even forewent using my electric toothbrush for the same reason. I am considerate.) By the time I came back to the flat after breakfast this morning, much of the washing up was done, so I did as much as I could and dried and put away anything that needed drying and putting away, and washed what was still soaking in the sink, and then dried and put that away. I am naturally sensitive to accusations of laziness, and wish to redress the karmic balance after failing to realise that the dishwasher doesn’t wash dishes after Sunday’s lunch. Anyway, I think the blazing husband-and-wifely row Richard and I had about this very issue, live, onstage, in front of upwards of 60 people in the hamster-powered GRV this afternoon was a useful cathartic experience in this regard. I will endeavour to do better.
The gig was, in many way, a welcome return to form. Not that anybody except the upwards of 60 people (figures seasonally adjusted) who witnessed yesterday’s, live, at the GRV, will ever know how we retreated from form in the first place. But we did, in terms of taste and entertainment value, especially me. Still, now that a platoon of willing nerds have had various cracks at retrieving the lost podcast file – particular, hands-on thanks to Justin, Tony and William – it seems clear that it will never be heard. Let’s move on.
We were bathed in celestial light at the GRV, as you can see, in Gordon’s latest roll of photographs, and hit something resembling a stride, thanks to a long and well considered scripted piece about lane etiquette at the swimming pool from Richard, a long and well considered scripted piece about jacuzzi stimulation from Richard, and a long and well considered scripted description of what he did to the books I bought him for his birthday. As ever, I kept my counsel, and occasionally went into the audience to give them scraps of paper, Have a listen. Thanks to the efforts of Orange Mark – and the inner workings of Richard’s laptop, which works – the podcast is already up to listen to. Two and a half hours after we finished recording it. Not bad.
We arrived back at the flat to find the jovial, well-tailored and reassuring Andre “Vinny” Vincent, who’s in town for a few days and staying with us. As he left the flat, with Tom Wrigglesworth, he was juggling some hats. Maybe he is the spirit of the Fringe? Richard Herring is certainly the spectre.
Enjoyed your gig at Bannermans today, Andrew. Was your Secret Dancer a plant as there seemed some reluctance from the audience for anyone to make a prat of themselves on stage? He had the man bag and he had the standing swing thing off pat so I am naturally suspicious. Apart from that the hour flew by although by 1.30 it was hot as Hades in your cave (not a euphemism).
Absolutely not a plant. It wouldn’t be any good with a plant. There is pretty much always reluctance, which I have to skilfully break down by pleading and threatening. But – so far – someone has always volunteered. Usually one volunteer leads to another, but one was just right yesterday, as I was on the verge of over-runing.
I agree with Touchwood – excellent gig at Bannermans today.
The Secret Dancer also had a badge on the corner of his manbag clearly showing some forethought. Actually I don’t think he was a plant as he stood in front of me for the whole hour before rather than turning up at the end.
Have you recorded any of your secret dancing shows on your laptop too? Will you be uploading them?
I haven’t, although I do have a recording of yesterday’s, made by a nerd, which I haven’t listened to. I will probably get it filmed at some point, and maybe even released on DVD, so I’m reluctant to let it out into the electronic word just yet.
I’ve come to Edinburgh to see your show at banermans and your live podcast with Mr Herring, but I have forgotten the tickets for the podcast (this has made me quite unpopular with my friends). Do you thing the fringe box office will be willing to print replacement tickets if I can produce the card I used to buy the tickets?
Give it a try, Graham, is all I can say – sounds like they would be amenable with the card. (For my show, make sure you get there by midday, which is when the queue starts forming.)
I’d suggest even earlier Graham as midday is when the doors open at Bannermans and there was quite a queue there already at that time yesterday.
My plan for the day is forming quite nicely.
Hi Andrew, more nerd questions (you wouldn’t believe it, from the demographics but I’m considering starting a career as a self-employed IT guru.)
Do you have plenty of free space on your laptop? It’s another possibility for why it’s doing stupid error messages (assuming you’ve not changed anything). An hour long podcast is going take probably around a gigabyte of space before you mix it down to MP3.
Tried Panda licorice yet?
My friend @cockbongo had a good look at my laptop yesterday and he seemed satisfied that I had enough space on it. He advised quitting all other applications while GarageBand is running, which I shall now do. Although we’re relying on Richard’s for the rest of the run, and possibly for the rest of our lives.
I did the same thing last year and what happens is that if you prove that you have bought tickets(showing them your card etc) then they will let everbody in with tickets then you and your friends will be allowed to take up the empty seats that are yours anyway.
it was okay, I told a lie and said I’d never received the tickets in the mail. At the fringe box office they issued me with a letter explaining the lost tickets. The man at the venue door gave the letter a sceptical once over and issued us temp tickets.
It was a great show, I’m happy we managed to see it.