I’ve never claimed to be a trendsetter or a trailblazer or an early adopter with anything. I do not lead, I follow, for the most part. So I accept, on behalf of Telly Addict, that I am woefully late on Gogglebox, the C4 show whose second series is already partway through and to which I am a tardy convert. It sort of makes all of this redundant but I’ll soldier on: so, the mighty sociological experiment and armchair wisdom goldmine Gogglebox on C4; the final Poirot on ITV; more Sky Arts’ Portait Artist Of The Year; the return of Borgen to BBC4; the awful Killing Kennedy on the National Geographic Channel; The Newsroom on Sky Atlantic; Yonderland on Sky1; oh, and the Christmas adverts, which had to be done. (New producer/editor this week, so say hello to Tim.)
Since Game Of Thrones – or GoT as all the uncool kids are calling it – is the most talked-about TV show of the moment, with catch-up guides in every newspaper for those losers who haven’t been watching it from the start (we’re at Season Three for heaven’s sake – do you really have to wait for the broadsheets’ permission?), I have to confess that I’m not reviewing Game Of Thrones on this week’s Telly Addict, because, when I wrote and filmed it yesterday afternoon, the first episode hadn’t aired. (I review, not preview, as previously established.) But we do have the jolly return of Doctor Who on BBC1; Paul Hollywood’s Beard/Bread on BBC2; the latest sci-fi saga from the JJ Abrams universe, Revolution on Sky 1; an update on Broadchurch on ITV; a warm welcome for the regeneration of Foyle’s War on ITV; and a sneak preview of The Village on BBC1.
I have now, of course, watched the first episode of GoT, and it really is not for the latecomer. That’s all I’ll say. Full review next week.
This week’s Telly Addict – in which you will see that I have eschewed the now-traditional jacket to reflect this glorious weather – contains no adult language whatsoever and no scenes that viewers may find disturbing unless a man fishing some soiled underpants out of a public toilet cistern at Chatsworth House falls under that heading. Despite the kind comment under last week’s complaining that the Guardian clearly doesn’t “train” its “journos” how to present TV properly (idiot: I’m not a Guardian “journo”!), I soldier on and amateurishly review Chatsworth on BBC1; Starlings on Sky1; and Silk on BBC1. Ideally, interested parties will discuss the shows under review. Alternatively, they can criticise my technique and question my professionalism, in the mistaken belief that watching Telly Addict is compulsory and not voluntary.
Telly Addict number 46 – not that anybody’s counting – is up. This week, I’m all over Richard Bacon’s The Anti-Social Network on BBC3; the new one from Heroes creator Tim Kring, Touch, on Sky1; and Hit The Road Jack on C4. Can’t believe we’ve been doing this for almost a year. (When The Apprentice and Four Rooms returned this week, it was like Groundhog Day. I’m not watching The Apprentice this year, I’m afraid, but Four Rooms has yet to jump the shark. I might review series two next week, although I’m duty bound to cover The Voice and Britain’s Got Talent too, and Titanic, and maybe the final TV Burp?) I can’t imagine why you’d want to, but if you’re new to these weekly antics, all 46 are archived here.
Oh dear. I thought we’d got away with it. But, no. A slight technical hitch at the Guardian yesterday: the Autocue, from which I seamlessly read my slaved-over Telly Addict script on a weekly basis, broke. Due to time pressure, we had no choice but to print my script out and gaffer tape the pages to a stand just underneath the camera, so that I could read it off. (If there had been time for me to learn each link and recite it, Collins & Maconie’s Movie Club style, I would have happily and professionally done so, but there wasn’t – look how long some of the links are!) This is why I am clearly LOOKING DOWN throughout, as if solely to make you feel a bit nauseous. I wouldn’t blame you if you didn’t watch it to the end, but the clips are good, so please stick with it if you can (or look away when I’m talking), and be assured that if the Autocue is not fixed next week, I’m doing a flounce. Digital is, after all, the bit of the Guardian that the Guardian is pinning all its future hopes on. Ah well. In between the disconcerting shots of me ignoring you, there are amusing bits of The Only Way Is Essex on ITV2; Spartacus: Vengeance on Sky1; and Noel Fielding’s Luxury Comedy on E4. Normal service will be resumed next week, in time for reviews of Inside Men, True Blood and something else.
Still wearing the jumper, still watching the TV programmes and talking about them. This week’s Telly Addict from backstage at the shrinking Guardian newspaper looks at Dancing On Ice on ITV1; Borgen on BBC4, or BBC Denmark as it’s soon to be rebranded; and two new sitcoms, The New Girl on C4, and Stella on Sky1. Nothing on the new series of Celebrity Big Brother, as I only recognised five of the initial 12 housemates, and from now on, I’m operating a strict 50% Celebrity Recognition Threshold system. (This seems only fair. Even if I hadn’t recongised me on Celebrity Mastermind, I would have scored 75% recognition, and that’s only one edition; across the series, it would definitely have averaged out at more than 50%.)
Oh by the way, the Big Brother house has two twins in it, who might count as two, which makes five out of 13, but I hadn’t heard of them collectively or individually, so it makes no real difference.
First Telly Addict of the New Year and second avuncular outing for my jumper, which I’m starting to like: on this week’s review for the Guardian, it’s three big hitters from the three big channels – Sherlock, BBC1; Endeavour, ITV1; and Treasure Island, Sky1 – thematically linked in all sorts of ways. I hope you enjoy it. My jumper, that is. Warning: contains pre-watershed nudity that may arouse some Daily Mail readers. It’s here.