King Alan

Sorry I haven’t posted all week. I’ve been ridiculously busy. Here is one of the things I have been busy doing: the second Telly Addict TV review column for the Guardian. In it, I review Made In Chelsea, The Apprentice, Two Greedy Italians and the pirates episode of Doctor Who. Unfortunately, they have added a comments section at the bottom this week, which they didn’t do last week. On doctor’s orders, I am going to use all my willpower not to read the Guardian comments, as they can be crueler and more dismissive than anything you’ll read under articles on the Mail or Telegraph websites, and my mental health must be preserved. I’m all for dialogue and debate and interaction, but I mustn’t get dragged in. Hope you enjoy the new column. I am enjoying doing it. One day, I’ll successfully embed it. But not yet.


12 thoughts on “King Alan

  1. There is one comment on the G page at the moment and it is lovely – I know because I wrote it.

    If you do break your self imposed avoidance strategy – remember you need to ‘Roll with the…

  2. well they should be positive imo, i found that very entertaining, though not seen anything i actually want to watch yet!

  3. Someone may have already pointed this out, but offers this page, which seems to suggest that Vodpod might be the way to go for embedding Guardian videos. (For now, one thing would be to make the screengrab a link to the video page.)

    Excellent second video, I expect – I should probably go and watch it.

  4. Andrew,

    I do enjoy these very much and while I do think you’d prefer to ‘write’ for the Guardian, I think that this ‘script’ wouldn’t work half as well if I had to read it in a column.

    Matt Smith is a supply teacher – my sister commented on this a few months back, and while I agreed I clarified that he would be the one that you actually liked getting (rather than psychologically abuse or make cry – or was that just my class at a School?) and actually hoped the real teacher would be off sick but also who would let you digress interestingly in whatever subject he was covering for in class and take you off on places you knew were not in the syllabus even if they were part of the subject he was teaching .. and I’ve stretched that metaphor too much I think.

    Keep up the good work, may this ‘Week in TV’ go on and on.


    PS if you don;t mind a bit of constructive criticism: too many “..anyway..”. Find another conjuction or just let that pause go on slightly longer.

  5. Why the f–k aren’t you the most famous man in the world ?? Indeed, why aren’t you famous ??

    Oh, I see, it’s because I’m a sad, miserable loner who lives outside the M25 and therefore is denied the jewels of the cultural metropolis, well, until the Grauniad decides in its infinite wisdom it can be shared with us lesser provincial mortals.

    Seriously, for someone who lives without a telly, this little film every week is seriously addictive and very indispensable – the equivalent of the ‘zeitgeist tapes’ Hugh Abbott was going to be made to watch in ‘The Thick of It’. And it saves me 34 hours of TV watching a week !!

    And you need to ‘get with the programme’, literally.

    It is time that someone of your wit, wisdom, taste and vigour started running BBC3, now that that twonk Danny Cohen is over at BB COne.

    Think about it, and start practising those ‘pitching’ skills…

    Just get Carluccio, and Monty Don signed up, and then go into the meeting ‘The Player’ style…

    “Well, it’s like Italian Gardens meets Two Fat Lady Bikers Drinking and Driving with James May & Oz Clarke..”

    They’ll have made you a zillionaire before you’ve finished your sentence.

  6. The apprentice just shows how pitiful some young people are, being so nasty, aggressive, competitive, backstabbingly horrible, driven and stressed, so early on in their lives….I laughed particulary at the contestant who said, ‘I don’t care about my family or social life, they aren’t important, my job is my life, everything to me’ Oh dear.

  7. By the by, “Spiral” is the English title of the show. It’s called something French in France.

    “King Alan, erm, the first.” Perhaps they should call The Apprentice Spiral too. Contestants see what the last lot had to do to get on the show so they go one further (“Let me on the telly! Let me on the telly!”). And on it goes. Adrian Chiles (or whoever): “You weren’t really taught by the Dalai Lama were you…” Perfectly nice young woman – who votes Green and can actually taste herbal teas – cringes, covers her mouth, giggles… and fails to look convincingly embarrassed. The last series came good in the end, but you have to jump off these things. I can’t watch this stuff anymore. Reality television – an oxymoron.

  8. I actually liked the Pirate episode of Dr. Who. I got a bit bored at the end of Tennant’s run, and when Smith was revealed, I initially thought he was the winner of the ‘Feargal Sharkey Face Like A Dented Dustbin Award’.Having got used to him I actually think he’s quite a good mixture of weird/serious/funny. I don’t, however like it when they try to get ‘too’ clever and deep. It is a family programme after all (wouldn’t go as far as ‘kids’) That’s why I enjoyed that episode. It was preposterous fun and a bit of a romp. Just how I like it!

  9. No need to publish this comment made, I’m sure, in quite the wrong place. I just wanted to say how much I enjoyed this morning’s Mr Blue Sky, and that I’m greatly looking forward to the rest of the series. I hope it receives all the plaudits it surely deserves.

    P.S. It was also a revelation to find that there’s more to mid mornings on Radio 4 than programmes about ovaries and credit card fraud. I’ll tune in more often at this time.

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