Noise gate function

Sorry about the further self-promotion (and our failure to disable the “noise gate function”), but in what could be our last ever podcast, depending on whether or not Richard’s ravaged, overworked, overfed, overwhelmed, overoccurred body holds out for another week after what transpires, according to Orange Mark’s stats, to be a cumulative four solid days of podcasting or 5,881 minutes since February 2008, we consider the impact of Calvin Harris’s “protest” against Jed and Ward on The X Factor, discuss whether Bill Clinton or David Milliband would make a better lover, give Ben Elton the benefit of the doubt over his Frankie Boyle-style remarks about the Royal Family and – +++++SPOILER ALERT! SPOILER ALERT! NOT THAT RICHARD CARES!+++++ – review the new disaster movie 2012 in way too much detail, and reveal the ending of a film about the end of the world. No, it’s not actually 1992, despite the misleading Sun cover and I am no longer in the Labour party either.

18 thoughts on “Noise gate function

  1. Hey AndrewYou pondered about David Haye having the nickname Haymaker. definitions foundhaymaker – Collaborative International Dictionary of English v.0.48 : Haymaker \Hay"mak`er\ (h[=a]"m[=a]k`[~e]r), n. 1. One who cuts and cures hay. [1913 Webster] 2. A machine for curing hay in rainy weather. [1913 Webster] 3. A forceful punch that results in someone being knocked down or knocked out; as, he delivered a haymaker to his opponent's jaw. [slang] Taking a wild stab in the dark that they are going for the third definition suggests that there is a boxing promoter out there with a better vocabulary than a famous published author/critic/dancer???

  2. Feel strangely honoured to have been so roundly abused by Richard. Is that wrong? Enjoyed the White Ribbon post too. Still working my way through excellent True Blood box set partly on your recommendation.

  3. Dear Andrew,A hundred miles off topic. I am sorry. But next time you're at radio 6, can you ask them to quit playing Vampire weekend? I'm heartily sick of it now.All the bestMatt

  4. You're not really planning on the hundredth podcast being the last one ever, are you? It was said so flippantly that it was hard to tell either way. I always thought the Collings and Herrin podcast would go on forever, like bloody Mickey Rooney or Lanzmann's 'Shoah'.Hoping not in any case, even if that makes me yet another person scrabbling for the free crumbs of sodomy and ginger beer-based entertainment. I'll do my best to support you and Richard by buying all your things, and only be slightly frustrated at not being able to come to any of the live things you're imploring us to come to because there are still tickets available, as it's a long commute from Australia. Unless you want to do a live podcast in Melbourne? I volunteer my attic.

  5. Around the beginning of the show Richard talks about not allowing you to follow him on holiday to do a podcast. The idea occurred to me that you could do a skype chat podcast. I know that Richard probably has no intention of doing a podcast on holiday, but it seems like a novel idea to do one skype. If you were willing to do a twitter based podcast, and a car based podcast then surely a podcast with the two of you at opposite ends of the country would be worth a try? I would have thought that when Rich was on tour would be a good opportunity.

  6. I left Labour earlier this year, Andrew. I've had plenty of calls and letters about falling into arrears on my subs, but not one concerning the fact they'd actually lost a member. Go figure.

  7. Yes Chris, … go figure, the only viable, electable party of the left in Britain, stuggling against a dominant and terrifying Tory surge, would quite like some money so they can mount a fightback – and the bureaucracy of the party have overlooked someone who probably never did anything more than pay by direct-debit without any actual activism. How cynical of them.Damn, the Sun's front page should bring back a warning to those soggy-leftists all upset with Brown et al! Reality bites – put down the tofu and try and defend the welfare state – Or stop moaning. Parties control our legislature and executive, the only way to change anything is to be active in a party (or to engage with the parties through other bodies). If you're not involved your opinion is so much hot air. Just sayin like. Nee offense like.

  8. People who complain about spoilers on the internet tend to be really annoying.Having said that, I'm quite tempted to email Richard with specific plot details of The Wire season five. It would be a just and petty revenge.I haven't seen 2012, but I understand its nuanced characterisation makes comparison with The Wire quite apt.Good podcast this week. Grumpy Herring makes for entertaining listening.

  9. Andrew I tried to post a comment about your bbc 6 music and Richards Nyum Nyum Nyum catchphrase. I beleive you read it as I think I used the illiteration which you have plagerised from me, passing it off as your own; overfed, over-rated, overtly overbloated… or some suchlike…some say what does not kill you makes you stronger, be cruel to be kind, don't bury your heads in the sand. I was being cruel to Richard purposefully to be kind in the longrun, because I beleive he is man enough to take it so stop wrapping him up in cotton wool and shrouding my ligitimate arguments in mystery.By censoring negative comments about your partner you are actually insulting his manhood more than I ever could or indeed would.I expect noone will ever read this comment as the power has clearly gone to your stalinist overblown egocentric head. It never ceases to be tragic as the good ones proceed inevitably to the dark side… where is the sweet man we once knew and loved?

  10. Karl, I'll be honest, I find it quite difficult to tell when you're being serious and when you're being ironic. I'm still not sure with this post, but I didn't publish the previous one because I felt it was rude about my friend. I have every right not to publish comments I consider rude. I wasn't aware I'd plagiarised anything, as you put it, as I really can't remember exactly what you wrote in it. Are you joking?

  11. it was part joke part deranged rambling from my preconscious mind. I do think I used illiteration with three o's but if you copied it I would be complimented and humbled that you thought something I wrote was good enough, maybe it seeped into your subconsious? I don't know why you chose to use the three o's on the podcast description and in your blog, it seems to me to be too much of a coinsidence I thought you were trying to communicate with me. but then I'm just one in 25,000 listeners so maybe I'm being solipsistic with delusions of grandeur again maybe the psychiatrists are right and I need more medication.Anyway it was an unexpected pleasure to have your seven inches of love inserted gently into my earhole this morning. I liked the 999 track though I couldn't hear the words it reminded me of some Japanese punk have you herd of the Japunk band 'Stalin' they were good.

  12. Andrew, on a more serious note. I have to agree with you and Phil J's conversation about negativity.I was iPlayering the final Pop Britannia on BBC4 this afternoon and Neil Tennant was making the same point in that the current crop of Saturday night 'entertainment' are all about humiliation. Several members of my family mentioned that they stopped watching X-Factor after the auditions as that when the 'embarrassing acts' have been eliminated. I could go on a rant about Ricky Gervais's one 'unfunny' persona that's all about self-humiliation and the popularity of The Office / Extras appeal to the same mentality …. but I won't.Anyway, love the podcast (and AIOTM ;-)) and I particularly like that amongst the raucous puerile self-promoting nonsense you do make so very valid points.Herring and Collins, Philosophers for the 21st Century.

  13. Oh please don't rub it in. I know I'm a miserable old twat and pick up on all things negative.I try to be positive. If you look at who I'm following on Twitter (@walrusofcomms) you'll find lots of comedians but to no avail. Still a grumpy old man.Oh god even my last tweet is negative (slagging off the new Twilight movie to @SaliWho).I'll shut up now then as I've increased the internet negativity again!!

  14. I'm not liking all this chat about not continuing past episode 100. If you're get bored trying buying some different newspapers.Daily Sport? Morning Star (not packed with laughs)? Racing Times?Mah favourite bits are where you deconstruct an article in immense detail.

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