Kelly Brook’s buns

As Richard stares unemployment in the face and I realise that it was my broken earphones that led to a fleeting, erroneous feeling of punk rock cool on a train this morning, our 89th podcast soldiers on, featuring a whole load of genuine laughter at the twin Daily Mail “imagined nostalgia” attack of

a) AN Wilson for the time “a few years” ago when there was no Halloween and no 200 yard queue outside his local joke-cum-fancy-dress emporium, and
b) Quentin Letts for the time, before 1970, when urchins would demand a penny for the guy

Plus: the varying levels of pictorial hypocrisy over the iconic photo of weeing student Phil Laing [see: self-defeating Guardian crop above]; the inappropriate casting of Kelly Brook in the West End Calendar Girls, which will only lead to confusion at the box office; and the over-35 joy, for Richard, of meeting Johnny Ball and Maggie Philbin. For the record: we do not repeat the Rebecca Adlington joke like all the newspapers who claim to be offended by it.

By the way, we are number two in this discerning Dave channel comedy podcast chart. Only Adam and Joe are better than that


18 thoughts on “Kelly Brook’s buns

  1. Hi Andrew,Credit crunch busting comedy in a residential area – well one street behind me in leafy Surbiton! Just seen Angelos Epithimou (absoultely hilarious) and the ever impressive Jon Richardson – all for £7! Next month it's Stephen Merchant in this leafy location!! I can't believe these people are performing at our local neighbourhood theatre! Surelt a window for messrs Collings and Herrin I'd say!Best Wishes,Matthew Phillips

  2. I am posting to register my excitement at Mr. Collins and Mr. Herring standing in for Adam and Joe. Undoubtedly the top 2 pods on the net converging. Will you be doing the regular features or simply "porting" the attic show over Andrew?While I'm here, I might as well mention my little forum where a few dedicated podcast fans talk about C&H and other good pods (Adam and Joe, Football Weekly, Kermode, etc.) in relative privacy (see here: You'll have to register to read anything. Unfortunately, Andrew, I will not accept an application from you because I'm not sure how comfortable I'd feel about you reading a 10-page thread in which myself and others have discussed you in great detail! (Or about seeing the thread in which there are pictures of you and Mark Steele juxtaposed with people trying to guess who is who).Yet to listen to today's offering. Looking forward to it.

  3. thats a fair chart – the only thing that edges adam and joe ahead of your pairing is boggins the dog. boggins is effectively the kingmaker on the dave channel podcast chart…. if only there was someway you could KIDNAP THE DOG. if only you were presenting their show or something………i cant believe im urging someone to kidnap a non-existent radio turning 40 next year, 40! and the funniest thing ive heard recently is someone pretending to be a dog talking about poo.lots of lovespanther

  4. wow…this is taking dedication a bit too far….. I'm actually setting my alarm for 8.55am so's not to miss any of the bbc6 show! thought i was really committed when in downloading everything you boys have put out there, i nearly went over my 10gb limit and had to miss the latest family guy!!!!would love to come to one of your shows and or buy some merchandise….. but i'm skint… consider myself a fan, not a supporter!

  5. Andrew, do you know if there will be a podcast version of the show?Much as I adore both you and Richard, waking up at 9am on a Saturday morning is just not something any sane person can be expected to do. (I realise that you and Rich will be getting up much earlier, but hopefully you're getting paid!)There's always the iPlayer I suppose, but a podcast would be great.

  6. I thought I'd also offer my current ratings pasted in from the forum so Andrew can seeCurrent ratings:Adam and Joe: 10/10 – consistently excellent, always a few genuine lols, unchallenged kings of podding for 2009.Collings and Herrin: 9/10 – recovered well after a patchy period earlier in the year while Richard was gigging hard. Collins is the secret to how good this pod is.Football Weekly: 8.5/10 – AC Jimbo seems de-motivated this season, possibly because of the collapse of Setanta, possibly because Mr. Ingle is not on the pod enough. However, the lack of Sean has been counter-veiled slightly by the fact that Barry has been a lot more amusing and a lot less grumpy in recent months.Frank Skinner: 8/10 – Skinner is a very funny man, a naturally funny man. He's also curiously quirky, like he's twee, quite particular about strange things — and I find that endearing and amusing. It would be 8/10 with just him on his own, and I don't think Gareth and Emily modify the score at all — if it was two other people it would be just as good, if it was two better people it'd be higher.Mark Kermode: 7/10 – he seems to be off every other week at the moment, although I quite like Floyd and Boyd (I'd subscribe if they had their own pod). Even though Mayo is annoying me less than he was now, aspects of Kermode himself are annoying me more. Yes, this has slipped a bit in my estimation.Murray and Lovejoy: 7/10 – it's a bit too short to get any higher but I like it. I've always like Tim Lovejoy and Murray makes a great foil for him, the banter is good. I especially like the non-sport section. The producer needs to fuck off with the bell though.Philosophy Bites: 6/10 – increasingly irregular and the past 5-8 guests haven't been that interesting to me. When this is good it can be very good though, depends on the topic.John Pienaar's Political Review: 5/10 – this has slipped in my estimation due to shoddy analysis of the Labour Party conference, even worse analysis of Griffin's Question Time slot and a now very very tired insistence on discussing the expenses scandal in terms of how it impacts MPs personally. Pienaar sounds bored.

  7. Ratings cont…As it Occurs to Me: 5/10 – despite a better show 3, the best thing about it is still the theme tune. I just don't find the sketches at all funny. I see them as annoying distractions from Herring's stand up. And Nostradamus woman is still intensely annoying. Show signs that it could be good in the future though.Sunday Supplement: Not being able to see the faces of that fat bloke called Brian who replaced Jimmy Hill and whatever assortment of cock-munching footy journos he's got on this week, weirdly makes this show worse. It's just SOOO fucking long. If I wasn't such an anorak I would unsubscribe. If they talk about referees and the possible use of goal-line technology again this month, no this year, I'm going to scream.Their lack of Italian/ Spanish/ German/ anywhere but England knowledge irritates me intensely too. And they never ever have a Guardian member of staff in.Robert Llewelyns Car Pool: 4/10 – taking up far too much memory on my HDD and i-Pod, there are just too many rubbish guests. And it's also all a bit too middle-class and middle-aged and mums and dads with kids for me. Even Adrian Edmonson came across as being a bit boring.The Game: 3.5/10 – this is getting very very bad now. Marcotti just seems frustrated that he even has to speak to the rest of the imbeciles, Jupitus is just the wrong host, he comes across as unfunny, crass and disinterested, Alison Rudd is the third worst woman in pods after Nostradamus and Emily, Patrick Barclay is just a self-righteous cock. In need of a drastic overhaul next year.The Perfect Ten: 3/10 – it went from being just above average to just above unbearable. Jupitus just isn't a very likable guy and Wilding is even less so. The live gigs are unbelievably shit.Ricky Gervais: 1/10 – look Ricky, I loved your old pods, but I'm not going to give you any money, ok? I'm just not. Not when Herring gives so much. It's the principle. And YOU can afford to give stuff away for free.

  8. When you did the podcast with two other people a while back (I forget their names), you had your own recording running in your own foreground, which you then put online (and on iTunes) alongside your other C&H podcasts.Could you not do something similar this time? Maybe set it up five minutes before you go on air, and then talk to us while the songs are playing? It would be a tremendous treat! Think of how you could switch between your separate "radio" and "podcast" personas!!I've yet to listen to today's podcast, so don't know yet whether you've already considered the idea. If you haven't, or have already rejected it, then I hope this has encouraged you.- gdb

  9. I haven't heard what Quentin Letts was saying, or what you had to say about it, but I've just been on the phone to my mum and she was trying to convince me that she sees kids demanding a penny for the guy every year, but not this year. I can't remember when I last saw anyone doing it, although I have seen it, and it follows that that must have been post-1970.

  10. Really enjoying the podcast but have broken off early to just let off some steam. A N Wilson! Grrr!a) Halloween is NOT an American import. I grew up in Scotland (have I mentioned this?) and in the late 60s my brother and I would go out 'guising (disguise-ing). My parents had done the same when they were kids in the 1930s. I think their had done the same thing – roughly a centuary ago.b) his witterings were clearly written under the Daily Mail's default editorial setting: disapproval. (Any picture of Peter Hitchens should simply be captioned "disapproving" regardless of topic).Sorry for ranting – maybe I slept funny. Off to finish listening.

  11. Sadly you have now dropped out of the top 100 (audio) comedy podcasts in Sweden. However, don't let this worry you. The press over here have recently been going mental over 'Podradio' as they have decided to christen it after catching onto the whole podcast thing and the charts are skewed by people downloading entire series of things at once. Stephen Fry is at no.13 and he hasn't even recorded a blooming podcast for months. The top ten 12 is held by the state broadcaster and – trust me – none of them are funny.So I think you can now start using the strapline 'Collings and Herrin: Too funny for Sweden to get'.J

  12. clearly the guardian photo crop is a comment on the ubiquity and iconic nature of the full photo – they only need show the head and all and sundry can construct the full horror themselves…

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