Alright, my theory is shot to hell. I was seriously thinking about writing a book called The One Show, in which my pathetic TV career stretches to appearing as a guest on every programme on television but only once – Newsnight Review, The Wright Stuff, Richard & Judy, What The Dickens on Sky Arts 2 – but BBC1’s dastardly The One Show have ruined everything. I have only ever been asked to present an item once, but now I have contributed to two further items, the latest being one on Dan Brown, which aired yesterday. This was a lot of fun, despite me not feeling very well (the adrenalin of TV usually perks me up when I’m required to shine – I’m sure this is not good for long-term recovery, but it’s a medical reality), and Gyles Brandreth and I mucked about a bit in Waterstone’s on Piccadilly, with one bit of business about the Masonic handshake actually being left in the edit. Anyway, it’s just a few moments in the limelight in a too-low chair, but it’s traditional now for me to present a few screengrabs, and it will annoy Richard Herring, so here goes.