A whole day of bullshit

sales_lot
The Apprentice: Week Six

[SPOILER ALERT! Blah blah blah . . .]

At last. She’s gone. It was a close-run thing, in that it wasn’t clear until the final weigh-in which team had made the most commission selling used cars in Slough, and I had money, as it were, on Sharon’s shambolic team being kept behind. But thanks to shifting more Ribena-proof upholstery treatments, they pipped Ansell’s team by over a hundred quid and were sent down the Thames on a casino boat to stuff their faces and have a steaming, stand-up row over something Syed said to Michelle about what Paul had said about Sharon, I think. Meanwhile, Ansell dragged Jo and Samuel back in so that the world could breathe a huge sigh of relief that’s been building up like gas these past six weeks. Ding dong! Jo is dead! (“I’ll stay a good person,” she blubbed, inevitably, in the cab home, deluded to the end.)

We saw some sights along the way tonight. Ruth pulling one out of the hat and doing what can only be described as a damn good job. Syed getting a “bollocking”, which he called a “consultation” (remember that one) for what can only be described as lying to a customer while qualifying a potential sale. His family are originally from Bangladesh, by the way, and he worked his way up from nothing, you know. Jo “taking it on the chin” for leaving the word “SOLD” scrawled across the windscreen of a car that was “ACTUALLY NOT SOLD” for four hours. Seeing her actually chasing customers away with her brand of Coventry-accented hysteria. Sharon, the spiritual sackee, who knew nothing about cars, or, apparently, about when and when not to call someone away for an important meeting ie. when he’s actually seconds away from closing a deal.

Jo deserved to go. We have seen enough of that vacant, toothy, corpse-like grin, and heard enough of her yapping about being too much “competition” for the rest. Ruth has redeemed herself. Paul is sliding down in my estimation: too much testosterone, too much self-belief (“I will be the best”). Sir Alan was on top form, speaking sarcastically of the “Jo Fan Club” and, with regards to the MG Rover part of her CV, muttering, “No wonder they went bloody skint.”

The English language continued to take a pasting, with Michelle using the phrase, “As if magic,” and Jo storming in with, “Absolutely good.”

I’m fired up.

Previous reviews:
Week One
Week Two
Week Three
Week Four
Week Five

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9 thoughts on “A whole day of bullshit

  1. Ah, Andrew, I think you’re too hard on Jo. Personally, I’ve found the last few weeks quite hard to watch, as she’s consistently come under the cosh from the rest of Velocity, who all had the scent of a wounded animal in their nostrils. Quite properly, then, it was with a mixture of sadness and relief I saw her put out of her misery last night.Mind you, she does have the most hideous laugh, both aurally and visually.The whole thing reminded me of an episode of The Apprentice USA, when the women’s team rounded on a member whom they all claimed – despite knowing no better – had mental health problems. As expected, The Donald fired her. “I can’t have mad people working for me”.

  2. Ah, Andrew, I think you’re too hard on Jo. Personally, I’ve found the last few weeks quite hard to watch, as she’s consistently come under the cosh from the rest of Velocity, who all had the scent of a wounded animal in their nostrils. Quite properly, then, it was with a mixture of sadness and relief I saw her put out of her misery last night.Mind you, she does have the most hideous laugh, both aurally and visually.The whole thing reminded me of an episode of The Apprentice USA, when the women’s team rounded on a member whom they all claimed – despite knowing no better – had mental health problems. As expected, The Donald fired her. “I can’t have mad people working for me”.

  3. I only caught the denouement last night but it seemed as though SirAlan really really didn’t want to sack Jo – he obviously liked her and he and the producers probably want a lady to win this time (that’ll be Ruth then). I reckon these tasks are a pain the arse for SirAl – he’s all about ‘instinct’ and just wants to choose the one he likes best. By the way, loved Ansell’s darting eyes when panic struck!

  4. I only caught the denouement last night but it seemed as though SirAlan really really didn’t want to sack Jo – he obviously liked her and he and the producers probably want a lady to win this time (that’ll be Ruth then). I reckon these tasks are a pain the arse for SirAl – he’s all about ‘instinct’ and just wants to choose the one he likes best. By the way, loved Ansell’s darting eyes when panic struck!

  5. Like last week (do a should-take-12-week ad campaign in 1 day…), this was another frustrating task for all concerned including me as a viewer, watching people with no sales skills and/or no idea of the difference between a “saloon” and a “hatchback” trying to sell cars in a high pressure environment. You can’t blame Sharon for being lousy at it – she was appointed project manager before they knew what the task was about, after all – but you could blame her for pulling Tuan off (oo-er) just before the end of a deal for a meeting that never happened. And you could blame Jo for leaving a car as “sold” when it wasn’t as you mentioned, so I guess the result was the right one – although Ansell is sailing close to the wind.I hope the forthcoming tasks are able to stretch the candidates a little more evenly… perhaps a competition to see which team can dig a hole big enough to bury all the unsold Amstrad E-Mailer phones cluttering UK warehouses?

  6. I think the time was right for Jo to go. She’s insane. Her sales technique borders on the psychotic. Who will win though? I can’t see a clear winner here. Perhaps Syed. Remember, we all hated Saira to start with!

  7. Two things that frustrated me about the show were a) that because of a production-related rule (they only have two camera crews per team), some of the team members were left sitting around with nothing to do unneccesarily and b) in the boardroom Alan made a big deal over who sold each of the cars, when it was clear that for some of them it was a team effort.Samuel seems the smartest, most likeable candidate of the bunch. Ruth is efficient but a bit of a bulldog.

  8. Having read your posts about this series over the last few days, I’m annoyed now that the show passed me by. Do you reckon it would still be a worthwhile watch, bearing in mind we’re six weeks in?

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